Then and Now

For me, I dont want to say before and after, for me it is the "Then and Now" because thats how I think of it. I think of how my life was "Then", and what my life is like "Now.

"Then":

The time (which was most of it) of my life when my weight(and the issues it caused) dominated my life. I lived with health issues (my doc told me I had the insides of a 70 year old), emotional issues and just everyday issues. When I think about "Then" it is not all bad, there were some good times (the birth of my son, graduating from college, great friends), but most of it for me was all bad.. Today I saw a picture of myself at the heaviest I had ever been, 300lbs. When I saw the picture I LOST it, literally LOST it! It makes me sad to think that I let myself get that out of control, that I let my emotions and my dependancy on food get the best of me.

That was me, seven months ago... Wow, even looking at it now makes me want to hit the treadmill, do some squats and throw in a few leg lifts.... I am thankful though because without all that I went through "Then" I would not appreciate where I am "Now" and I would not have the dedication to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

"Now":

I can look people in the eye when they speak to me, I do not avoid public places or large groups of people... Let's just say that my confidence button was pushed and I am stepping out of my comfort zone and doing things I have never done before. For me the best part of it all was seeing the look on my doctors face when he read my chart, saw how much I had lost and saw the test results. My health has improved, no more borderline diabeties, no more high blood pressure, NO MORE!!!. I am blessed and thankful everyday. I run with my son, have tons of energy to keep up with the little man of my life and it makes me cry when he tells me how nice I look! Thats my motivation right there...

This is me now, 84lbs down and 36lbs to my goal... I am thankful for the "Then" because I have a "Now" that I can share with others.

Not many people who have lived with being over-weight are willing to share what its like to live that life, me, well I think people should know. It is definately not easy, not as simple as getting up in the morning and making life happen, living your dreams or having it all. For most, for me, it was a challenge, a battle, a fight... Something I never want to have to deal with again.

*tear*